This content is in the process of being styled since being imported from a previous system, and may lack some formatting detail or imagery.

A little respect (just a little bit)

  • Random

In my wildest dreams, I would not have imagined that the most popular post on my site would have been Why I Don't Want Kids!

I wrote the post to address the not-too-uncommon opinion my friends have that either Sandrine or I are broody, or that we should have kids despite our opinion.

After finally approving a number of new comments on the original post, I noticed that I still hadn't addressed Toni's comment from last year! I would like to address them in this post, and digress from kids to respect.

Toni said that by not having children, I'm not allowing myself to mature myself in a unique way. Well, I'm of the opinion that there are many ways to mature myself. Traveling the world is a great way to meet new people and cultures. Volunteering your time for a good cause is a great way of giving back to society and helping those that are less fortunate or going through rough times. Those are just two activities that will "make you a better person", and while I agree they, along with having children, are not mutually exclusive, it's a matter of balance - you can't do everything in life.

That said, I do not abstain from interacting with children. They are (mostly) beautiful beings. They are like small adults. They have opinions (some of them not all that wacky). Watching them learn is amazing. Having them teach you something is even more amazing. I love kids to bits, I just don't want my own.

Toni also said: "if everyone thought like you there would be no you to enjoy life". Well just think, if everyone thought like me, there would be no politicians, public health service, telephone repair people, cooks. There would be a world of software developers who all wish to pay off their mortgage and then go traveling, buy some land near a beach, build their own house and be self sufficient. There would be no project managers to direct those developers and there would be no clients to buy the software.

Thank god not everyone's like me.

I respect Toni's opinion that everyone should have kids. I respect it, but I completely and utterly disagree with it. Everyone's different. I'm not telling anyone not to have kids. I would like Toni to respect my decision, but I don't expect him/her to.


Ben, I don't blame you for not wanting to have kids, it is Sandrine and your decision as a couple and other people should just accept that fact. All my life I've wanted kids and felt there was a void or at least would be if I didn't have them. Now I do, I'm happy but I do realise how hard it is and I can imagine if you have a life that you feel is complete why squash kids in to the equation- if it ain't broke.....

But on the flip side I will say I think medical technology has been an absolute blessing and we should see it in that sense. When Lucy was born she had an unknown infection the doctors even suggested meningitis, as you can imagine Ritch and I were distraught. She was taken immediately to Special Baby care Unit and given the treatment she needed and today she is a fine heallthy, stroppy 2 year old who is refusing to be potty trained but at least we have her with us.

Anyhoo that's my little contribution, sorry I didn't comment on it earlier only saw it today :)

Thanks for dropping by and adding to the discussion Wendy :-)

You'll probably have seen in my first post that I think that medical advances are part of the problem (in my opinion) - but I hope you also read that by my standards I'd not be around today, so I hope you don't take it personally.

Nah, not at all. I'm amazed how many responses you got to it mind. Nothing like a nice heated debate! :)

Hey dude! It's cuz nobody knows how to reply to posts about JTAG, GNU, Linux and encryption keys, whatever they may be :)

I like it when I can read your blog!! Now, get back to facebook and throw me a pie!

Hey sis! I don't throw pies on facebook because I'm scared they'll end up clogging up the servers' CPU pipelines or causing a kernel panic!

I've gotten all the arguments on why I don't want kids and there are three that are my pet peeves. 1) GOD. I do not believe in god, so if that is the only reason you are having kids, read the bible and get ready to follow ALL the rules, including the one about selling your daughter to slavery. 2) You'll change your mind. Why is it people think my convictions are so wishy washy? If you are steadfast in your belief and know there is nothing I can say to change you-why would my beliefs not be the same way? And my personal f'ing favorite: 3) Who will care for you when you get older? Try this. Go into a nursing home and look at all the elderly people. Many will be depressed, many will be lonely, and almost all of them have kids. Ask a nurse (I know a few, it is a depressing job sometimes but important) at the nursing home how often people get visited. I'll let you know right now. ALMOST NEVER. So who cares for you when you get older? Probably the state, same as us with no kids. If I seem bitter it's because I'm sick of being called wrong or abnormal or selfish. For me children are a choice. How many people do you know planned for their first child? I mean really planned and were ready emotionally and financially. I'll bet you know A LOT more people that never planned that first kid. So, if it is so natural and wonderful, why is so often an accident?

Comments for this post are currently disabled.

Subscribe to my Newsletter

* indicates a required field

I don't send many updates. I don't like to spam. Let's face it - I've not posted many new articles for a while (although I do plan on changing that). If you subscribe to new articles, I'll send no more than two emails a week. As for workshop and conference information, that'll be as and when I have details. It's not likely to be more than an email a week.