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Anti-tailgater bumper sticker

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As some of you may know, I hate tailgaters!

I've been thinking about making a bumper sticker type thing for my bike, and probably for the car too. I quite liked If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you, but thought it might be a bit provocative and may actually affect my legal right to do so.

Here are two I'm seriously considering though:

Your tailgating intimidation is wasted on my cruise control - according to one guy in the US who had this sticker, it dramatically reduced the number of tailgating incidents.

The closer you get, the slower I go - this is a tactic I actually employ, for two reasons. Firstly, if I slow down, they are more likely to overtake and can do so more easily. Secondly, it created a greater space between me and the vehicle infront of me, giving me more time to slow down in an emergency and reduce the likelihood of being hit in the rear. For some unfathomable reason though, I still create 10km tailbacks on the highways when all other lanes are empty. Some people just don't know how to overtake, I guess.

On that note, ever notice that people join highways and get into the lane they want to be in at the end of their journey? They'll happily sit in the middle lane because 7km down the road the left lane merges with it. This only serves to save them the hassle of changing lanes later, and meanwhile causes pockets of congestion where people have to navigate their way round drivers travelling at the same speed in all lanes, because it's more convenient for them. Selfish bastards.


Too right bro. And overtaking them on the outside lane then severely cutting back into the inside lane to show them how much of a piggy-in-the-middle they are rarely works, cuz their denseness is what causes them to be there in the first place.

Personally I'd love a little LED display in my back window, with a selection of pre-programmed messages. Just hit a particular button on the dash and ask "did u know, if you just put your phone down for one second, you could open a beer?"

Or voice recognition so they get a customised viewpoint. I'm a vocal driver.

By the way, dude - answer your e-mails! x x x x x x x

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